Damn the post office! Oct 14, 2004 08:49:48 PM
Its late, and I need something to do to kill time while I defragment an HD, so I decided to write one of these things since I have some crap on my mind.
So the other day I needed to mail a letter. Of course this requires a stamp and I had none. So a few days later I was at Walmart and I remembered I needed stamps, so after ringing out, I walked the length of the front of the store and I lucked out, they had one of those stamp dispencing machines. I approched it thinking this was pretty lucky. But boy was I wrong, dead wrong!
Now the first thing I noticed about this peticular marvel of technology was the giant sign hanging on the side written in big bold black magic marker, ''Wal mart is NOT responsible for this machine and can not issue refunds!!!''. Seeing this, I didnt think much of it, I just figured, well, yeah, its owned by the govt, not the store. So I proceeded to look through the glass and identify the product I wanted. I found it, inserted my dollar, and pressed the letter combination coresponding to the product of my choosing.
Nows where it gets bad. Keep in mind I just finnished entering the keystrokes and had already inserted my money, well its not untill after that that it decides to tell me that the stamps are all out. I was like WTF!? A little angered, I pressed the money return button. Nothing happened, I pressed it again, NOTHING! I started pushing the machine a little, you know, gently rocked it to try to rectify what ever was wrong with it. Well lets just say, it wasnt long before my ''gentle rocking'' turned into a kick, jab, and punch fest rivaling that of a gothic teenage highschool catfight.
Seeing me a little on edge, my room mate brian walks over to see what all the camotion is about, so I explain to him the dillema. Not nearly as blinded by hatred as I, he points out to me a tiny insignificant little NOTE just below the coin slot. That little piece of trash actually read something along the lines of, ''This machine only issues refund change in $1.25 incriments''. My instant reaction was, ''you have got to be kidding me!''
Slightly relieved that nothing was technically wrong after all, I figured in order to get any change back at all, I would have to add another 25 cents. So I pulled out my wallet and looked for a quarter. I didnt have one so I walked over to the Customer Service desk. After about 5 min of waiting in line, they finally were able to break my dollar. I jetted back over to the god forsaken government issued money stealing hoax machine, only to be greated by something so horrific my head would would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about. The dispaly was reading zero dollars entered!!!! The amt entered was back to zero!! No one was by the machine, I had my eyes on it the whole blasted time! There must have been some kind of credit timer, like if you dont enter your additional money with in 30 seconds, too bad, you loose it. I was so enraged with anger I could have beat that machine to death with my bare hands, but I couldnt even kick it again because there were people standing around me now. And the thing that makes it even worse is that there was nothing I could do about it, absolutely nothing. Couldnt tell Walmart, the sign says, ''dont tell walmart'', couldnt tell the post office, I had no recipt, what would i do, ''Yes I was in walmart the other day and one of your machines harrassed me, assulted me, then stole my money, I dont have a recpit, but I swear to god I'm telling the truth, may I have my dollar back please?''
So the funniest part of all this has got to be what the display read as I started walking away, ''Get the new Dr Seuss Stamps now!- - - All stamps available! - - - Insert 10,5,or 1 dollar denominations to begin'' So this is how the gov't gets unsolicited proceeds. Bastards.
User:
Anonymous
