Dan Krill's BLOG on BinaryBedlam
User: Anonymous

Initiate Login

Back To BinaryBedlam           BLOG Home           BLOG Table of Contents

Close Encounter of the ''OMG KILL IT'' kind: Centipede
April 28, 2005 08:49:48 PM
        If you were in this dorm room last night you would have had the oportunity to hear 2 grown men scream like little school girls.
        It was about 2Am and I was already in bed. Brian turns the lights on and says something along the lines of, ''mannn, i just saw something craw accross the ceiling.'' and i was like, oh no, not one of those hidious centipedes! He then confirmed my fear.
        I said with out hesitation, ''well kill it with something!'' he tears a large flap off an old pizza box, gets on a chair, and starts poking around the edges of the light fixture on the cieling where he saw it run. He misses! It crawls out from behind the light fixture toward me (whos head is only one inch from the ceiling cause im in my loft) at like mach 3! I'm freaking out, GIVE ME THE PAPER! GIVE ME THE PAPER! HERE TAKE IT! TAKE IT! he throws it at me, and I lunge my arm forward, mashing and crunching its , no shit, 4 inch body all over the cardboard and ceiling.
        Last time I had an encounter like this I thought I had seen the largest centipede ever created by the hands of god. Well as it turns out I was wrong again. The centipede racing toward my face like a cruise missle last night now holds the record for the largest I've ever seen. To say the least I couldn't sleep very well after that.

See what tried to attack me ==>   CLICK HERE

Second / Third Campus Conviction
April 12, 2005 08:49:48 PM
        Allright well, I got in trouble again, and because the last offence may have counted as 2, this might be the third. The last one might have been counted as 2 becuase I didnt do anything about it after the first notification. It wasn't untill after the second inspection that I finally realized I had an infraction because I don't check my mail enough.
        So anyways, this time my JR was for something even more stupid. I swear, the people issuing these things must be working for commision because JRs are handed out like candy! So it was finally spring break. Everyone had to be out of the building by 12 noon on saturday. Most people leave friday, as do I, but this time I wasn't going home, I was going to Myrtle Beach with ZBT and they weren't leaving till sunday.
        So as the story goes, it was saturday morning, I had everything packed up and ready to go. I even had a friend, Joaquin, help me carry my stuff out to my car. After everything was out and the place was ready to be locked up for the break, Joaquin realized that he still needed a copy of WinXP Tablet Edition. It was 11:50, he needed it bad or he wouldnt be able to use his new computer, and I was confident that I could burn it for him in time. So we ran back up there, fired up the computer, and got started. When it was done it was about 12:05.
        We got outside of my room, and just after I closed my door, inserted my key to lock it, and turned to run down the steps, we were stopped by someone inspecting the halls. At this point it was no more than 12:05, we begged for him to let us go, I mean, it was barely past out-time, and it was obvious that we were on our way out, but he was being a complete loser about it. He was all like, ''Nope sorry, I'm gonna have to write you up''. Now in this senario I would have just ran, I mean, I was already through the stair well arch way when he stopped us, but he saw which room I came out of, so he would emediately know who I was and then I'd be in even more trouble.
        So there we were, 5 mins past noon, standing infront of my room in an awkward silence because he didn't even have the forms with him. He had to radio to someone else in the building to bring them up for him because he couldn't leave us alone or have us wonder through the building after lock down. Finally at 12:10 when no-one showed up he just asked which of us was the owner of the room. Joaquin responded to that, ''since I was the reason he's here, can I just take the JR for him?'' The guy was like, NO, the owner of 771 should have known better. So thats when I just gave him my information. After I gave it to him, I said, ''You know, it was barely after time, I had all my stuff loaded hours ago, I had fully intended to obey the rules, there was no premeditated intension to willfully disobey any university policy, but some one was in need, my being here for a few minutes didn't hurt any one, and it's spring break.'' He just shook his head, then I said ''So I'm being punnished for helping some one in need? god bless you.'' When he was done copying the information from my passport it was about 12:12, he handed it back to me and we went on our way.
        So that incodent completely ruined the first couple days of my vaction. Im sorry, but what a dik! I know a rule was broken, but seriously, was all that neccissary? So the reason I made such a big deal out of that was becasue if that does infact count as the third JR, than that could mean that I'm not allowed to live on campus next year. Oh well, good thing I'll be living at the house.

Notification & Offenses Referral Form

College Laundry Rooms
Feb 20, 2005 08:49:48 PM
        I's sorry about the complaining, but this is just getting rediculous.
        The washing machines in our laundry room were recently replaced with new ones. These new ones have such a small capacity that it requires 4 of them to do my laundry. Now I may let my dirty wash build up for a long time, but I know that very same basket barely makes 2 loads when I'm at home. Thats 12 freaken dollars to do my laudry! Totally unnessisary! It's no wonder so many people insist upon bringing every last piece of clothing they have down here so that they can last till the next break and do their laundry at home.
        What makes things even worse is how they replaced the old ones. The new machines are smaller than the old ones! Yet they cost more! I get to do even less cloths per load and pay more. Now thats justice.

an ending where there was no beginning...
Dec 20, 2004 08:49:48 PM
     Another chapter contained in the unbound battered and untitled back shelf novel I call life has come to a close. This was a long chapter, as are most, intricately entwined with the surrounding story, thick with narrative, and ending with a satire rivaled only by that which is found in Elizabethan tragedies.

However repetitious this chapter may externally appear to anyone who has actually taken the time to look this tale over, there can be found an obvious difference. One that should stick out like a sore thumb. Why, this chapter never even began. How can one declare an ending, if one has not defined a beginning? Well, of course when reading my story, such a ridiculous scenario should only be expected. The story is already laced with plot twists, treachery, anguish and its faithful counterpart, defeat. Then perhaps the best way to understand how this can be, would be to forget about it. That seems to be the tactic of choice.

None of this actually matters though. It is finally over, and although life has only a finite number of chapters, perhaps completing this one was for the best. Whether it was holding me back or it was providing me with a light at the end of the tunnel that I should intently attempt to recover, one very true fact yet remains, I am standing alone on a poorly lit unmapped highway accompanied only by disappointment who never left my side. It was where I stood prior to the chapter, and it is where I stand now, after the chapter. Typically there should be character development, a change in plot, or at least a new position to keep the reader interested. But none of that was present. This chapter had not accomplished anything.

Around me there was nothing but endless interconnecting circular streets. All leading back to one another providing no sight of success or an exit. They were lined with faceless angry mobs all named ''doubt'' and there was the occasional whimsical passer-byer carrying the picket signs marked ''confusion''. All the while, I stood there, doing little more than hoping that the unbearable feeling of disappointment would soon leave my side, but it never did. The scene could easily be misconstrued as a dystopic future, a disturbing Picasso painting, or even a nightmare.

I myself have considered calling it by one of those names, but I now know it could not be any of those things. They all have sad endings; this chapter was just as it began. It elicited neither joy nor sorrow. Again I say, none of that matters though. This chapter has reached its conclusion and a new chapter is on the horizon. New events, new experiences, and new misadventures await me.

So if at this moment I am still standing alone, still unaware of how I got here, how do I know this chapter has reached the end? How is it that I am so sure I will find that hidden exit and that the next chapter beckons me? ...........because that constant unwavering feeling of disappointment...........just took one step away from me.

Damn the post office!
Oct 14, 2004 08:49:48 PM
     Its late, and I need something to do to kill time while I defragment an HD, so I decided to write one of these things since I have some crap on my mind.
        So the other day I needed to mail a letter. Of course this requires a stamp and I had none. So a few days later I was at Walmart and I remembered I needed stamps, so after ringing out, I walked the length of the front of the store and I lucked out, they had one of those stamp dispencing machines. I approched it thinking this was pretty lucky. But boy was I wrong, dead wrong!
        Now the first thing I noticed about this peticular marvel of technology was the giant sign hanging on the side written in big bold black magic marker, ''Wal mart is NOT responsible for this machine and can not issue refunds!!!''. Seeing this, I didnt think much of it, I just figured, well, yeah, its owned by the govt, not the store. So I proceeded to look through the glass and identify the product I wanted. I found it, inserted my dollar, and pressed the letter combination coresponding to the product of my choosing.
        Nows where it gets bad. Keep in mind I just finnished entering the keystrokes and had already inserted my money, well its not untill after that that it decides to tell me that the stamps are all out. I was like WTF!? A little angered, I pressed the money return button. Nothing happened, I pressed it again, NOTHING! I started pushing the machine a little, you know, gently rocked it to try to rectify what ever was wrong with it. Well lets just say, it wasnt long before my ''gentle rocking'' turned into a kick, jab, and punch fest rivaling that of a gothic teenage highschool catfight.
        Seeing me a little on edge, my room mate brian walks over to see what all the camotion is about, so I explain to him the dillema. Not nearly as blinded by hatred as I, he points out to me a tiny insignificant little NOTE just below the coin slot. That little piece of trash actually read something along the lines of, ''This machine only issues refund change in $1.25 incriments''. My instant reaction was, ''you have got to be kidding me!''
        Slightly relieved that nothing was technically wrong after all, I figured in order to get any change back at all, I would have to add another 25 cents. So I pulled out my wallet and looked for a quarter. I didnt have one so I walked over to the Customer Service desk. After about 5 min of waiting in line, they finally were able to break my dollar. I jetted back over to the god forsaken government issued money stealing hoax machine, only to be greated by something so horrific my head would would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about. The dispaly was reading zero dollars entered!!!! The amt entered was back to zero!! No one was by the machine, I had my eyes on it the whole blasted time! There must have been some kind of credit timer, like if you dont enter your additional money with in 30 seconds, too bad, you loose it. I was so enraged with anger I could have beat that machine to death with my bare hands, but I couldnt even kick it again because there were people standing around me now. And the thing that makes it even worse is that there was nothing I could do about it, absolutely nothing. Couldnt tell Walmart, the sign says, ''dont tell walmart'', couldnt tell the post office, I had no recipt, what would i do, ''Yes I was in walmart the other day and one of your machines harrassed me, assulted me, then stole my money, I dont have a recpit, but I swear to god I'm telling the truth, may I have my dollar back please?''
        So the funniest part of all this has got to be what the display read as I started walking away, ''Get the new Dr Seuss Stamps now!- - - All stamps available! - - - Insert 10,5,or 1 dollar denominations to begin'' So this is how the gov't gets unsolicited proceeds. Bastards.

An Entertaining Evening
March 16, 2004 08:49:48 PM
     It was 2 nights before it was time to head back to campus from spring break. It all started in the car ride heading to the Round O’Clock diner. It was about 2 am, we were on route 30, and passed this one trucker. Andrew, who was accompanying me that night, made the “pull your air horn” gesture just out of no where as we rapidly passed the slow moving Mack truck. Now I’m going to have to give this driver mad props because he not only saw Andrew for that split second in the dark, he then wailed on his air horn for all to hear. That was the first time I’ve seen that work for a long time.
        The really funny stuff happened at the diner. It was now like 3am, we had already finished our food long ago and were just bullshitting, looking at the sites and what not, you know how it is. Across the isle and about 2 booths up there was this group of 3 guys, I could tell they were all programmers, they were about 25, wearing business cloths in an unkempt manor, also talking about stupid stuff. I believe the first convo we overheard from them was a discussion on body mass to penis ratio, according to the shorter guy, humans win. The one guy even had a ''tech belt'' (pda, cellphone, ect).
        Any ways, they were getting ready to leave, as were me and Andrew, but then this group of 3 attractive women walked in, they had to be in their late 20s early 30s. They were all wearing really fancy cloths, almost like they were NY stock brokers, or lawyers or something. For some unexplained reason, we all decided to stay just a bit longer.
        Well the one programmer guy had a cell phone camera, he was so hilarious, he kept acting like he was stretching while holding it, and he kept snapping them off. And I guess now that his cam was out, I suppose he thought he’d start having fun, so he threw some silverware on the floor next to the table across from him, and low and behold, the more attractive waitress bent over right next to him, I can tell he messed up that picture though because when she walked away, and he started playing with the buttons on his phone, he yelled shit to him self a little too loud.
        So it was a very entertaining evening to say the least.

Computer Geniuses
March 04, 2004 08:49:48 PM
     What you’re about to read almost went unmentioned, I didn’t realize the magnitude of the story until I was retelling it to someone online, thanks Brian G. So I guess I’ll blogify it. You may also notice proper grammar and spelling in this entry too, that is because I finally installed office, and you know how word is all like, don’t worry, I’ll fix that for you.
        Any ways, I was standing in front of the elevator doors on my floor, in my dorm, Lee waiting for transportation to the ground floor. Also waiting with me was a small group of girls, there were about 4 or 5 of them. On the wall, next to the doors, hung a poster advertising a recently passed informational session on building your own PC and a LAN party.
        Completely out of the blue one girl blurted out, “What the hell are these LAN party posters doing all over the building?” Another girl responded, “I don’t even know what a LAN is.” Of course me not being able to contain myself said, “ Local Area Network” A third girl raised her hand toward me in that “voila” fashion, turned to the first girl and said, “there you go.” Another said, “see, this is why we have techies.”
        Ok, don’t stop reading yet, its about to get a whole lot funnier. Now knowing that a computer knowledgeable person is around, yet another girl asked, “So what is this over clocking business?” Full well knowing that these girls were as dumb as the proverbial bricks regarding computers I gave the simple response, “Its basically when you make your computer go faster than it’s suppose too.” She looked at me puzzled, gave an unsure, “ohhhh”, then immediately asked, “is that even legal?” I tried not to laugh, but before I could answer her ridiculous yet sincere question, her friend yelled, “Uhhhhh, Duh!! Is it legal to speed? Of course it’s not legal, they’re just telling how its done, not that they should go out and actually do it” After hearing that brilliant statement, I just left it alone.
        What I intend to accomplish with this entry is to demonstrate the mere stupidity displayed by some people when it comes to computers, specifically blonde freshmen business-majoring floozies. Indeed.

Special Treatment
Feb 20, 2004 08:49:48 PM
     Ok, it was early this morning between classes, i was sitting at my desk reading the college newspaper waiting for the teacher to arrive. Things were going pretty good this morning, i had just kicked a quiz's rear, and i was feeling great. Then, like a drunken bi-polar psychotic, i had a complete attitude reversal. Something about the artical i was reading just triggered something in me. like i had a ''get pissed off button'' that was accidently placed in the lobby of an over crowded dorm lobby and some drunken kids were hitting it rapidly and violently as the decreped elevator slowly decended the shafts. Any way, as you may or may not know, our star football player, Marcus Vick, is in some legal trouble for underage drinking and contributing to the delinquence of a minor. But thats not what pissed me off, what pisses me off is the actions the shcool is going to take toward him.
        think back to high school, you ever notice how if a crime is commited by a jock, they usually get off pretty easy no matter how serious the charge? i mean i can think of several kids right now who were caught multiple times for drugs, alcohol, or destruction of private property who were given nothing more than a formal slap on the wriste. Now if the exact same crime was commited (or not commited...hmmm....shane...) by anyone else, they would slap them with criminal charges, probation, suspension, and who knows what other sadistic things they could think up.
        Well up to now, i thought this was all just corruption in the higher branches. the sole product of favory versus pejudice. According to them though, it was mearly our imaginations, everyone is treated the same.
        turns out this isnt always the case every where. Apparently, at this fine school, it is actually a documented ordanince, that Athletes are exempt from normal judical action. thats right, if your a jock you are BETTER than everyone!! how freakin fair is that. if you play a sport, and know nothing of the world around you because your too busy pumping iron and eating your steroids for breakfast, you are above the law.
        here is the actual litterature: ''Corrective Action Plan of Virginia Tech no. 45.3: Athletes are not automatically suspended for misdemeanor charges''. after further research of this, i found that athletes are allowed an appeal hearing infront of a counsil of their choosing, yeah like their not going to pick their coaches and trainers. anyone else is imediately EXPELLED for a minimum of one semester. holy crap!! how is that fair!? well wait, i better think about this again.....Sooooo.......i would get kicked out.....and he gets yelled at.......hmmmm.....yeah, my bad, thats perfectly fair.

and the final thought:
        Now granted im sure these athletes have done alot more for the university than i have, and loosing them as aposed to me would be like loosing an asset, or enrolled celebrity, but am i wrong to think for even one second that he shouldn't get off as easy as me? am i wrong to think that becasue he's an untouchable he shouldn't be rewarded for inapropriate misconduct? I should hope not, hes a role model to alot of kids still in high school, as are a lot of other celebrities, what message are we giving these kids by cutting slack to various groups of individuals? that its ok to break the law if your a recognized person? Im sorry, but if i commit the same crime as someone so much as even slightly famous, we should recieve the exact same punishment. a crime is a crime.
        Now i have nothing against Vick, infact i ran into him a couple of times at frat parties and he was a pretty cool guy, what i want to get accross in this entry is that favorablility for certain groups is not only intollerable, its morally wrong, hell its even against the very bi-laws that founded this great land, ''All men are created equal''. Now I know this kind of prejudice happens all the time, but how is it even close to being ok for VT to add this addendom to their corrective action plan? if you do this sort of thing, don't you normally lie about it, or deny it or something? because in my opinion, you certainly dont publish it! to me, this is just a blatent display of income being more important than morality. you just lost points in my book, VT! but you know what? what ever.

Easy Money?
Feb 05, 2004 08:49:48 PM
     I have found a pretty substantial flaw in the retail system! Don't ask me why, but I was in the shower when i had this epiphony. Just the other day a friend of mine was able to loan me a book i had already bought at the huge university book store. He said i could use it for the whole semester, and luckily i didnt open the one i bought yet.
        Since I now had the used book, i decided to return the rediculously over-priced book, so i dug up my recipt and headed on over to the crowded university inflation outlet. I Waited in line, waited my turn, handed them the unopened book, my recipt, and the transaction was completed with almost no dialog. An easy exchange.
        OK, heres the beef. What was to stop me from leaving my brand new unopened book in my dorm, walk into the bookstore with the recipt in my pocket, go straight to the textbook dept, pick up the book i intended to return, then head for the long crowded returns line, and then return the book i had just picked up off the shelf!? I would have just made my $120 back, and i'd still have the expensive text book waiting for me back home, just beckoning to be put up for autcion to turn a profit.
        Now i didnt do this, it was a reality that sort of just presented itself after the fact. But someone devoid of morals could easily pull this off. i just thought i'd point this huge breach of retail protocall out. Hopefully retail will do something about this before someone else tries it.

Missed Opportunity
Jan 30, 2004 08:49:48 PM
     Im not entirely sure at this point, but there might be a god yet. The reason i'm analysing this is because a series of events occured to me today that can't be explained otherwise. It's like every once in a blue moon god actually tries to help you out, and in this case i think he was trying to hook me up.

Heres how it is:
        I was planning on not going to fridays economy resitation because i was going to hand in my homework a day early. Well, when i went on line to look up the office hours of the professors and TA's to find out when to drop the hw off, i quickly learned that all the times have passed. I was ticked, now i had to get up at 8am and go to that unnesisary class.
        As soon as i got there i handed in the paper, and since i had another class after this one, i just stayed. i went up to the back of the auditorium to hide my sleeping eyes. as i was sitting down i noticed a pretty good looking girl within visual proximity. i was like ''coo, good seat'' just as i was getting comfortable in my seat the TA says he doesnt have a mic so we all have to move up. Again, i was pissed.
        I grabbed my things and moved up to the middle of the place, sat down, and got comfortable. From the seat i saw everyone moving up, then i saw the hot girl again, she was grabbing her things and starting toward the front as well. then omg, not only did she choose a seat that i could see her from again, she picked my row! and sat only 2 seats away from me! as she sat down she made eye contact with me and gave me a smile. My first reaction to this was, ''ok what kind of sick joke is this?''
        Now heres what makes all this so interesting, the place is huge, there wasnt more than 30 people attending, and of all the hundreds of open seats still remaining, she picked one only 2 from mine. Still in shock, i tried to ignore this breach in the fabric of space-time. i had a quiz next class so i pulled out my notebook to study. Now heres where things start to get wierd. at a random 17 minutes into the lecture, i decide to take my coat off, almost simultaniously, she takes hers off. ''hmm, coinsodence'', i thought. i guess she wasnt paying attention to the lecture either becasue again, at some random time, as i go to put my notebook into my backpack, she does the same. this time i was like ''what the hell!?'' I decide to ignore this coinsodence too and just accept that im trapped in a Twilight Zone episode. I throw my head back and take the remaining 10min or so to nap.
        Just prior to the end, i sit up in preperation to leave. I looked over at the hot girl and there she was, napping in the same position i was in. Before the TA actually dismissed us, i decided to go down afterwards and ask him a question because something he said ealyer in the lecture provided a discrepancy with something on my homework. Just as I made this decision, class was dismissed, everyone headed to the rear, everyone that is except her. she heads down towards the TA. Since she was closer to the isle, i had to follow her all the way down to the stage. By this time she must think im some crazy psycho following her and trying to kill her or something and that she should have never sat near me.
        Well there we were, just me, her, and the TA occupied with his piles and piles of papers. She asks her question, i wait patiently, then i ask mine. I had a short question, so just a moment later i proceded to the top to make my exit. she continued repacking her backpack.
        In the lobby, just infront of the doors, I take a moment to suit up. you know, put on the hat, pull on the gloves, zip up the jacket. Im about to finnish and there she was. Just she and I. She had just made it to the lobby and was now doing the same thing i just completed. Thats when i sighed and left.
        When she left, so did the long string of ''coinsodences''. About 50ft from where we exited, i turned to see if i could catch one last glimps of her, she was no where in site. It was at this point i made a huge realization, God was giving me ample opportunities to talk to this girl, and now he was done, and as always i screwed it up. MOTHER! due to my own lack of confidence and intense case of nurvousa, i passed up yet another golden oportunity.

Final Thought:
        It is in my experience that all these positive events occuring to me in such a short period of time could not have happened by shear coinsodence. There must have been some higher power exercising its abilities out of extreem pitty for this poor excuse for a human. If god is up there, one things for sure, he knows he waisted his time, and now hes as pissed as all hell at my neglegence, and he is just as sadomasochistic as giving, so it's probably pretty safe to assume, I'm in deep shit.

First Campus Conviction
Jan 28, 2004 08:49:48 PM
     People think i never get introuble, that im just a goody goody, well ha! I've already recieved a JR (judicial referral). I had to go to a stupid little hearing and everything. I ended up finding out about the whole thing when i recieved an email just 2 days after my return from xmas break saying that i missed my JR hearing and im supposed to call to reschedule. I was like ''what the freak is this?'' I went over to the mail room in the other building and sure enough, in my box, there was a JR letter.
        So what did i do? well lets start off by defining some referrable offences. Some people get JRs for sexual molestation or harrasment, some get them for drug use or posession, destruction of university property, public drunkeness, and yes, even public urination. Mine had to have been the worst of them all though. You could even say im a real rabble rouser. A real menace to society. I recieved my JR for a piece of tape on my dorm room's fire alarm. ''hmm, im board, ummm lets see here, ah this looks punnishable, yup, better write this one up rightaway. yeah, im not going to tell him to take it down, ha ha ha, wait, hes never been in trouble before, should i issue his warning first? naaaa, ill give him a university recorded judical referral. that would be much more entertaining!''
        Luckily everything worked out. The hearing was simply a one on one session with a grad student. I explained how the tape was over the sound emmiting part of the alarm and not the sensor part. That its sole purpose was to dampen the ungodly loud ear piercing sound it produces at least 3 times a week. She was so awesome, after i gave my confession, she turned off the tape recorder and was like, ''yeah, i totally understand, i was in the dorms too. You know, you can just keep it up there, just remember to take it down for inspections. Im just going to give you a formal warning, this isnt anything you should loose any sleep over.'' So it all turned out ok.

Notification & Offenses Referral Form Evidence

Girls Just Love the Jerks!
Jan 21, 2004 08:49:48 PM
     oh yeah, evidence that most girls like jerks, i mean wtf?, while i was waiting in line for my General Tso's Chicken at one of our dinning centers, i over heard some of a conversation between the attractive blonde infront of me and her boyfriend, it went something like this, ''man, you know what, i should take the boobs off my hotter girlfriend and put them on you!'' After that, a few moments of silence and back turning took place, but it was not 2 minutes before they were frenching again. again i say wtf!

Back to BinaryBedlam

BinaryBedlam's Basic Web Development 2010© .
Created by Dan Krill of BinaryBedlam (The Programing Div of Krill Labs);
    This site and any of its subsidiary components, which include but are not limited to:    
    Graphical Design and Layout, Images, and Decals; are the property of the owner and    
should not be used with out expressed written consent from the Web Admin.